College Doesn't Prepare You For Life

College is a scam. There. I said it. But not for the reasons you likely think I said it. The saying, “College is where you go to find yourself” is wrong. How many 18-22-year-olds really know who they are? If you attend a school that offers on-campus living and you move into the dorms, you’ll be surrounded by peers who are in the same or similar boat.

What’s People Got To Do With It?

More is caught than taught. We see this all the time with children. You can probably attest to it yourself. Depending on the household you grew up in, you picked up certain habits and behaviors that you likely still have as an adult. Some of the habits may be helpful, like being kind to those in need. Others may be harmful, like yelling or cursing out someone when you’re angry.

We won’t touch on the famous Nature vs. Nurture argument. Suffice it to say, that one’s environment absolutely plays a role in how one develops.

Social Learning Theory (SLT) was first defined by Albert Bandura (Bandura, 1977). In his approach, he posits people learn via observation, putting into practice the behaviors/actions of those they observe. SLT is not the end all and be all about how we learn. But for the purpose of this discussion, we’ll lean heavily on its presence to create a foundation. Observational learning may not be completely surprising, as you can likely think of times when you used this to your benefit or detriment. 

For example, when I was in high school, a good friend of mine got into a lot of trouble when we were out one night, later than the city’s curfew, and he was pulled over. That in and of itself wasn’t the problem. It was the obnoxious and somewhat entitled way that he spoke to the police that got him quickly thrown into the back of a squad car. 

It didn’t take a genius to realize that I didn’t want to mirror that behavior. So, when the other officer came to the passenger-side window, I spoke to him like I was raised with some sense. He asked me questions about why we were out late. The funny thing was, we weren’t out late because we were partying or chasing girls. We were out late because we had a study group and the study session went longer than we anticipated.

I did not find myself in the back of a squad car that night. Things quickly deescalated and we were ultimately free to travel the remaining mile and a half to our homes.

Social Learning in College

I all of that to say this. Social learning in college can be dangerous. It’s dangerous when the primary people you spend your time with are your peers and everyone is lost in what’s best. We should take a pause here to say that there is more to learning and growth than SLT. As I mentioned earlier, SLT is not all there is to learning or growing. However, it is the lens we will use to peer at this discussion.

It’s not just college. High school. Middle school. The workplace. Honestly, just relying on one way to learn will have all kinds of issues, which is why we need wisdom to know what is right, wrong, up, or down. I’m not intending to give you the magic pill. I’m simply suggesting that before you follow your friends down the path toward self-destruction, make you you ask yourself the following:

• Does this match who I see myself as?

• Does this help me in becoming the person I want to become?

• Does this match my values?

• Will I regret doing or not doing this?

• Will this harm me or anyone else?

Going through these questions is important for two reasons. 

First, it helps to slow down your brain, keeping you from doing something that doesn’t align with your sense of self. 

Second, it ensures the choices you make are filtered through the lessons you’ve learned and the personality you developed over time so that you don’t become a mindless follower, carried by the winds of Chance.

Why College Doesn’t Prepare You For Life

We talked a lot about SLT. How does this fit in with the title of this blog? It’s just one piece of the puzzle. College, at its foundation, is a learning institution. An argument can be made about how many colleges are businesses that give out certificates to their unwitting participants after paying enough and going through the system. But that’s not something I’m planning on touching.

Traditional college helps your mind develop along an esoteric path. That path can take many shapes. You may become a journalist, a doctor, a painter, a teacher, a poet, and any career under the sun. But finding a way to earn a buck and being prepared for life are two different things.

It’s not your professor’s job to ensure you’re capable of navigating the complexities of having neighbors you can’t stand. It’s not your guidance counselor’s job to help you prepare to get over a hard breakup. You need to develop tools to do more than spit back memorized information.

Then who does the learning come from?

Loathsome as it might be, your peers are in a perfect position to help. Yes. Experience matters. Your own personal experience. But that limits you to your perspective. SLT lets you learn via other perspectives and experiences. You can learn by observing your peers. In this way, you may be better prepared for what life throws your way.

What Did You Learn?

 There is nothing about this post that should be seen as words from on high. Nevertheless, I want to urge those of us who think that formal education itself is the recipe for success to take a second look at things.

Your life is about more than the degrees you earn or the job(s) you have. 

For all of its ups and downs, life is a miracle. You can’t put all of your hopes in the erroneous assumption that a college degree means you’re ready for what lies ahead. It’s a great starting point. But it’s not a true launchpad. 

Find a pathway that’s yours and yours alone. If you need help, seek out people you can trust who will offer you the wisdom of their own experiences.

We learn and grow through time and trials. Whether it’s SLT or another learning theory, we’re all capable of achieving success, as long as we allow ourselves to stay open and welcome learning opportunities as they come.

Resources

Bandura, A. (1971). Social learning theory. New York: General Learning Press.